Bio:
Joe Barlow
Last updated: September 23, 1999

Joe Barlow's story begins, amazingly enough, at the beginning of his story. He was born on April 26th, 1973 in the charming medieval village of Durham, North Carolina, after spending the previous nine months living inside a cramped little place called Mom. Shortly after his birth, the hospital closed down and the building was converted into the North Carolina School of Science and Math, thereby showing the incredible effect that his arrival had on the town.

Barlow lived in and around Durham until 4th grade. There is no truth to the rumor that he married Elizabeth Taylor during this time period, though he did have to beat her off him with a stick. Nor was he John Travolta's dancing coach for the movie "Saturday Night Fever". You're thinking of his brother.

In 1983, Barlow moved to the thriving metropolis of Huddleston, Virginia, a quaint place whose idea of Saturday night entertainment is driving down to Goose Creek to see if the bridge has collapsed since the last time you were there. During this time, he was exposed to a staggering lack of musical variety, which caused him to spend many hours hiding under the bed in a valiant effort to escape the sounds of country music that his many next door neighbors enjoyed playing at earth-shaking volumes. (Remember that in Huddleston, a "next door neighbor" means anyone within an hour's walk.)

All was not lost, though. He did meet one other completely insane and socially maladjusted person, who eventually became one of his best friends. This fellow was a rather disturbing chap named Barry E. Smith, a friendly elf who played keyboards and tiddlywinks equally well. They began writing and recording songs together in 1991, including the now-legendary "Tall Man's Blues" and a half-dozen or so others which are best left forgotten. Deciding they wanted to be heard, they formed a duo called The Ones Your Mother Warned You About, (Barlow on guitar, Barry on keyboards/drum machines, and both of them croaking out vocals). They played a couple of gigs in the Roanoke, Virginia area. Even though they really wanted to be heard, the folks listening decided they really didn't want to hear them, and after two gigs the duo called it quits. Joe moved back to North Carolina (Raleigh this time), and Barry got on with his other business of lurking in dark places, teaching his parrot to recite dirty limericks, and sabotaging communism. (Remember that Berlin Wall thing? He did it. Honest.)

Although Barlow eventually recorded an album for Europa Records in 1996 (the now out-of-print "Visions of Andromeda"), music never brought him the kind of sleazy solace his twisted little heart so desperately desired. After seeing (and adoring) Kevin Smith's "Chasing Amy," Barlow decided that shoving movie cameras into people's faces was a far better way to express his creativity.

"The Wicked Witch Project" is Barlow's debut film, though after it sweeps the Oscars next year, he is sure to be offered total creative control on "Star Wars Episode II: The Slow, Painful, Satisfying Death of Jar-Jar Binks."

(Joe Barlow currently lives in Raleigh, NC. When not spoofing cultural icons, he enjoys reading, collecting "Mystery Science Theater 3000"-related merchandise, and creative writing. He has also written freelance film criticism since 1997.)

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